I hesitate to write about my dental hygienist, because I’m afraid she’s going to read this blog and I’m going to have to face her in six months. If I disparage her, she’s got sharp instruments and a shitty attitude that I could see her using against me.
I’ve really got to stop telling people where my blog can be found. Because this dental hygienist and the rest of my medical professionals are a freaking overflowing cornucopia of possible blog topics. I try to be mysterious about how I spend my days, so that I can write snarky things about them, but I inevitably blurt out the URL and then instantly regret it.
I’m going to forge ahead with this dental hygienist story because I seriously doubt this chick reads humor blogs. She doesn’t appear to have a sense of humor and doesn’t seem to want one. What she does want is to be a real dentist. The way she looks down at the chart, looks up at the patient with a tilt of the head, the weary-yet-amused smile, all scream I WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL when in fact she has an associate’s degree.
None of that bothered me until she pulled the old ask-essay-questions-that-you-can’t-answer-because-your-ou-i-aw-uoul-uh-eeah-or. Ah, I thought, she’s old school. Fine. The first question she asked me I tried to answer with Morse code using only my uvula and a series of expressive eye blinks. After that failed, I decided to wait until I got home and answer her questions here. [Read more…] about Now That I Can Speak: Answers for my Dental Hygienist