We’ve found our new favorite Chinese restaurant here in Florida. It’s called something like Golden Panda or Golden Dragon or Golden some animal and it meets four out of the five criteria we’ve set for the perfect Chinese restaurant. No. 1 is that the food tastes good enough that we can order the chicken […]
Are You Wearing Mauve for Sciatica or Because You Fail at Fashion?
My friend Sean Taylor wore green yesterday to support the freedom protests in Iran. Upon hearing that, I looked down to see what color I was wearing: Red and white, with beige swishy designs. So I’m apparently not supporting freedom in Iran, but what am I supporting? Heart disease? AIDS? Try head and neck […]
How Pepperoncini Saved the Diet
My husband is on a diet. Men should really not go on diets. Even if the result is that they look like Paul Newman in the hard-boiled-egg-eating scene inCool Hand Luke. When they get big stomachs, we should think one word: baldness. Handle it the same way. It’s part of the species. Get over […]
It’s Polka Time!
This just in: The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences announced this week that it was eliminating the best polka album category from the Grammy Awards. You’re probably thinking what I thought when I read that. I looked at the date to make sure it wasn’t an old news clipping from 1969. The […]
Why Obama is Bad News For Dads and Husbands
Attention all American men: The jig is up. We’re onto you. We know you’re capable of doing much more than you’ve been doing for the past 700 years. We’re sick of your whining about having to work and change the baby’s diaper; work and grill up a couple of burgers on a weekend; work and […]
How I Met Their Father
It’s coming up on the anniversary of the first time I met my husband. He doesn’t think I remember it, since I’ve successfully portrayed myself as not at all sentimental about these kinds of things. But I remember it and I’d like to tell you the real story of how we met. My husband has […]