Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day so while every other green-blooded American was wolfing down corned beef and chugging beer, I passed. Not passed out, just passed. Giving up fatty meat and excessive drinking on St. Patrick’s Day is the most recent in a long line of breaks with tradition and signs of aging. I […]
Friday the Thirteenth
I seem to have gotten through another Friday the 13th without any disasters happening. No anvils fell on me, no mothers’ backs got broken, no seven-day patterns of much of anything, except in the laundry/stain category. The last Friday the 13th, a month ago, sucked, but I think it had less to do with […]
I’ll Be the Proctor, You Be the Gamble
I volunteered to proctor a big standardized test at a high school this week, and what a study in human behavior it was. It’s been 24 hours and I still have the stink of teen angst all over my body. The outfit I was wearing got hormones and self-doubt all over it and I had […]
Perfumigation
Remember when I told you all how I’m barely a girl? How I eat like a man with a piece of bread in my left hand, ready to dip in gravy? How I despise chick flicks, how my jewelry box looks like it belongs to a nun, and how I hate romance and happy […]
Scarlett Johansson’s Clone
Let me take time out of my busy day and yours to tell you that Scarlett Johansson, who we all loved in Lost in Translation but not so much in everything since then, is a clone, created by Helmut Kohl and other Germans in secret laboratories in Ludwigshafen. They took a normal German girl, Scarlett […]
Campus Life 60 Years Ago
Today we have some guest writers at Just Humor Me. Namely, three old guys who were at Youngstown College in 1949 and had the misfortune of being interviewed for a man-on-the-street story in their college newspaper. I came across a PDF file of an old Jambar, the college newspaper at Youngstown State University, which was […]