Here’s something that’s surprising about adult life: The style of my handwriting has no importance at all. How I write doesn’t mean a hill of beans, and no one gives a rat’s ass whether my capital F is all curly or is just a utilitarian printed F. This is surprising only to those of us […]
You Can’t Fire Me; I Retire
Some of my peers are retiring. Which follows most of my peers having grandchildren, so it’s kind of the second shoe to drop. I guess next up is my peers moving to independent senior housing with emergency call buttons in the bathtub. I’m always amazed when someone retires after 20, 30 or more years at […]
Mint, You’re Benched. Baco-Bits, You’re Up
I am both pissed and in awe of the mint lobby. They have locked and loaded the flavor for almost everything we put in our mouths that isn’t actually food. Toothpaste, breath fresheners, mouthwash, gum, Skoal, McDonald’s shakes during the month of March – aren’t we a little old to be overwhelmed with one flavor? […]
Let’s Have a Party! Oh Yes, Let’s Do
I’m no Martha Stewart, but I do enjoy hosting parties. In this post I won’t be addressing the early parties of my career, the St. Fitzpatrick’s Day parties in our apartments, the memories of which convince me that I can’t host a St. Patrick’s Day party – or a party in the entire month […]
Freakishly Good Entertainment
So freaks are back in, right? They were all the rage some years ago, with someone’s great idea for a TV show. But I vaguely remember a big controversy about how the show portrayed the stars. Sideshow freaks were split on whether the show exploited them or whether anyone could possibly exploit sideshow freaks more […]
Why I Seem Weird: A Letter to My Kids on Mother’s Day
Dear kids, Happy Mother’s Day! To me! I couldn’t have gotten here without you. Thank you for all of your Mother’s Day gifts over the past 27 years, all the kisses and hugs, handmade pictures of your handprint, flowers, and funny cards with other people’s heads Photoshopped in pictures with me. I appreciate everything you’ve […]