When my oldest son first started making noise about moving to China, my mom-worryometer went to Red Level 4 with all the things I feared for him. I worried about him getting into a stranger’s van, thinking it was a Chinese taxi. I worried about him trying to pose from the top of the Great […]
Being Nice is Complimentary
There’s a Be Nice Be Respectful movement under foot and I for one am pretty excited about it. Being a nice person myself, I’d enjoy the company. I was starting to feel like the world in which my mom took Gatorade out to the City of Hubbard Street Department workers had disappeared forever. From what […]
Period. End of Story
Under the heading Things Sure Have Changed, pubescent girls are so lucky now. Getting swept up in the frank talk trend, along with toilet paper, erections and lubricant, are periods. It’s all out in the open now and on every screen you happened to be in front of. They have Hello Flo videos on YouTube, where […]
My Next Career: Trip Packing Advisor
Ever since I read The Accidental Tourist I’ve thought that a travel writer would be a good job for me. If Rick Steves wants to send me to some obscure Third World country, I’d be happy to sit on the plane and write ethereal observations in William Hurt’s soothing voice. I would go to the […]
Buy a Rug and No One Gets Hurt
Two things happened this week to remind me of the time I was held hostage in a non-Chinese store in Chinatown. One, I’m nearing the end of our home renovations and I’ve managed to narrow down the list to six things left to do. I’m far enough away from the eye of the storm to safely […]
My Mouth Runs the Show
I just figured out why I can’t lose any weight. The pleasure center of my brain has been compromised and I blame my mouth. Because I just ate a plastic container full of leftover curry and for the last six bites, I was full, didn’t want any more, but I kept eating. That has mouth […]