You’re probably expecting me to say that I learned about the American justice system, that guilt and innocence are not always absolutes, and that the courthouse desperately needs a better coffee shop. But the biggest lesson I learned from four weeks of jury duty is that people really want to get out of jury duty. […]
just humor me
Got Through Another Valentine’s Day Without Having to Decorate Anything
I got through another Valentine’s Day and barely even knew it was February, let alone the fourteenth. If you’re like me, Valentine’s Day is about as meaningful today as the first one, in which a hopeless romantic was tortured and beheaded. How we got from that to heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and glamour shots is beyond […]
Tales from the ER
I wasn’t going to write about my trip to the ER until I could bring myself to write a whole book about it. A heartwarming story about kindness toward others less fortunate, patience with patients, and an unlikely place to be the great equalizer. That was right after it happened, when it seemed so bizarre […]
Incontinence, Impress Me
I don’t know why I even see an OBGYN anymore. The birth control conversation is over, fertility is moot, and even yeast infections are a young woman’s game. Now it’s just a matter of waiting to wet my pants. For the past 10 years, the primary purpose of my annual lady-parts checkup has been my […]
Satin Sheets: The Assholes of Bedding
There’s a reason satin sheets are not on any list of annual anniversary gifts, lists that include everything on earth. Seriously, the lists include the predictable (crystal, gold, silver and other treasures of the earth like silverware), the weird (aluminum, willow, wool and “animals”), and the romantic (flowers, candy and heart-shaped candle holders from the […]
Putting the Fun Back in Funeral
I’ve decided to put my funeral plans down on paper because I don’t trust my husband to plan my final party. If it’s anything like the other things we’ve put together, he’ll wait until three hours before the calling hours start and, overwhelmed with all that he failed to do to prepare, will decide to […]