I hate to see someone get picked on. And when it’s my sewing machine, I feel compelled to defend it with the same zeal with which I rip out seams: Slowly, methodically, and with a burning hatred in my heart. My poor sewing machine. She’s just a basic little thing, as plain as Jane and […]
just humor me
When Broadway Sent Me to Hell
If I go to hell — and the heavenly jury, that persnickety bunch of fuss budgets, is still out on that — it won’t be because of any of the Commandments. It will have nothing to do with all those pens I took from newsrooms across northern and central Ohio, or the free HBO I […]
A Mom’s Worries, Warts and All
Moms are like little worry factories. We worry all the time and we worry about everything. Me? I worried a crevice in my forehead so deep I had to clean it out with a Q-Tip every night. And then I worried that the baby would fish the Q-Tip out of the trash and eat it. […]
Who Loves Food? We Do
My sisters and I have a special relationship. We want what’s best for each other, we support and praise each others’ accomplishments, but at the end of the day, I would be fine if we were all happy Buddhas. “Fat and sassy!” That’s what our mom used to say whenever anyone asked, “How are you, […]
Two Non-Hikers Walk Into a Bar
If two people are less worthy to go to a national park than my husband and me, I’d like to meet them. We would have to meet on a flat, paved surface within fifty yards of a margarita machine but I’d still want to see them for myself, face to face, because I doubt they […]
I Relate to Midge
Barbie’s in the news again and it has everyone scratching their heads. Why is Mattel working so hard to keep a 62-year-old fashion doll relevant? Shouldn’t it be normal for girls to move on to a doll that their great-grandmothers didn’t play with? I mean, I love the fact that Barbie and the gang is […]