You emptied the dishwasher? I’ll put it in the Christmas letter! I’ve spent the past 25+ years announcing that I’ll never write a form letter to include in my Christmas cards. I love getting them from other people, especially now that everyone has outgrown the need to make up achievements about their children. (Not […]
christmas
Mayor of Tinsel Town
I just finished putting the tinsel on our Christmas tree. I had planned for it to be a moment worthy of a Hallmark Channel Christmas special – an evening with the whole family at home, my kids recovered from the trauma of putting the ornaments on the tree several weeks earlier, my husband in […]
You Saw It Here First
For the record, I’m fine with Christmas decorations being out in the stores right after Halloween. I have no problem with steamrolling over Thanksgiving, the day we commemorate our gracious ability to have a civil dinner with people we’ll later dispossess and turn into alcoholics. But I was in CVS on Tuesday this week […]
My Christmas Work Here is Done
I just realized this Christmas that I’ve officially retired from my job as Santa’s Helper. I had the job for 21 years, so I think I can retire with benefits. Maybe I’ll get cookies and milk for life. But I can honestly look around my house today, empty boxes and styrofoam stacked in the […]
Deck the Halls With Growls and Stalling
I’ve tried to instill some old-fashioned values in this house, I really have. At the risk of appearing Republican, I’ve led Christmas-cookie-baking afternoons, made dozens of gingerbread houses, snuck Bing Crosby onto the iTunes, and basically jumped headfirst into the pile of corn. My kids stood by in their black t-shirts and backward baseball […]