I just heard that Mike, a college friend of mine, was called to jury duty. I also notice that he didn’t whine like a little girl and pretend to hate reporting to jury duty. We tend to complain about jury duty, despite the fact that it gets us out of our regular jobs and […]
Northern Exposure
When Floridians go north I’ve been back and forth between Florida (home) and up north (the location formerly know as home) multiple times since the onset of cold weather. My daughter seems to think that she might be capable of going to college in a state where it can snow in three seasons. Eighteen-year-olds […]
No Talking
I spent a couple of days last week unable to talk. I had a cold and a sore throat for a couple of days, then one night I started to sound like a goat doing a Clint Eastwood impersonation. The next morning I opened my mouth and nothing came out. It was an awkward […]
Normal Kids + Non-Psycho Moms = Messy Houses
Point us in the direction of the white love seat, please. I love to read my friend Jackie’s Facebook posts, because she has two little girls and they are ruling the roost. Thanks to the magic of social networking, I can watch those two kids take over a household inch by inch. Today Jackie […]
My Congressional Morals Seminar
This is the part of the transcript where the bitch sets me up. I think I’ve figured out what I want to be when I grow up. Somebody’s got to be a Congressional Morals instructor, and I think I’m just the person to do it. After Rep. Lee of New York became the ∞th […]
Take Me Out to the What What?
When my son comes home for Spring Break, he’s bringing his girlfriend and her parents, so I’ve been looking for fun Florida Spring Break type activities for us to do. Things that don’t involve your run-of-the-mill Spring Break activities, such as going to bars that smell like urine and letting strangers drunk-drive you home. […]