I’m selling a house again. At the risk of sounding braggy, this house is really nice. Especially now that we’ve cleaned it up, cleared all the crap off the kitchen counter, touched up the paint and wiped away any trace of anyone actually living here. Whenever I get a house ready to show, I […]
just humor me
The Not-So-Real McCoy Gets Promoted
Jack McCoy, who has been the prosecutor on Law and Order since man walked upright, is moving up to Fred Thompson’s job as DA. Did you hear what I said? Jack is moving from being the scrappy, pit-bull, motorcycle riding, liberal, tough guy to being the guy behind the desk, a suit, a politician. I […]
Resolution Revolution
This year I’m giving up the GD pacifier if it kills me. I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year. When I do, they’re always the same, “get organized,” “run or exercise everyday,” “eat better,” “stop picking that scab on my elbow” “start telling the truth in court,” blah, blah, blah. Did you […]
News Flash: I’m Having a Hot Flash
I’m getting hot flashes. If you’re anything like my daughter, this will gross you out, so stop reading. I’m not totally sure about this, since my hot flashes are not anything like other women who have described in detail their hot flashes. (What is it about girls and our desire to share this information?) […]
What I Didn’t Buy For Christmas This Year
I’m so proud of myself. I orchestrated a beautiful Christmas for my family without being an idiot. I didn’t buy one single gift that was rare, hard to find, or in high demand. Sure, I ended up with a bunch of lame stuff that everybody else got last year, but at least I didn’t […]
My Christmas Work Here is Done
I just realized this Christmas that I’ve officially retired from my job as Santa’s Helper. I had the job for 21 years, so I think I can retire with benefits. Maybe I’ll get cookies and milk for life. But I can honestly look around my house today, empty boxes and styrofoam stacked in the […]