Show of hands — Who’s playing grocery store Monopoly?
OK, now keep your hand up if you’re also heading straight to Aisle 12 to smash your head against the freezer door until the Hot Pockets rain down like black hell. The headache you’ll have is what I feel like when I “shop, play, win, exclamation point.”
Grocery store Monopoly is why I might possibly never amount to anything. It’s why I may never write the novel of my dreams (literally, I have an idea for a novel based on a dream I had where I went to the wedding in a mansion that was so big, there was a Sephora store in the house), and it’s why I may never reach my reading goal of fifty-two books for 2018, or why I’ll always be two assignments short of completing the Master Classes I’ve taken. Instead of focusing on those worthy accomplishments, I’m in my Lair matching up tiny strips of paper to a Monopoly board, licking the backs and pressing them onto rectangles shaped like snacks and household cleaners.
You might be asking, what’s the problem with that? Um, how much time do you have? [Read more…] about Grocery Store Monopoly: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Jack Squat