My husband and I were in a hotel recently and I was forced into a life of crime, once again reminded that I would make a terrible bad guy.
Housekeeping forgot to replenish our shampoo and conditioner one morning, and we were running low. Making a request would have required a phone call down to the hotel desk, which I despise. Calling down to the desk makes me feel like Eloise’s mother. I am barely comfortable having other people make my bed; Being the lady who picks up the phone and says, “Hello, this is Mrs. Fitzpatrick in Room 712” may as well just continue with “I’d like my peeled grapes brought up immediately. And could James bring the Rolls around. I’m luncheoning with Cary Grant at 1. Thingyow.”
I spotted the housekeeping caravan in the hallway. It was unattended. The housekeeper was apparently in one of the nearby rooms with the door closed.
“Grab some shampoo and conditioner off that cart,” my husband said.
“But there’s no one with it. Shouldn’t I ask? Or at least explain why I’m taking it? I want them to know they didn’t give us any today. I don’t want them to think I’m stealing it.”
“Oh my god,” my husband said. “No one is looking. Just take it. And grab a couple extra waters while you’re at it.”
“Waters???” My chest started to tighten. This was all just too much. What did he think this was, a spree? [Read more…] about A Life of Crime Is Not For Me