It’s been a couple of years since I had my vision corrected the way a good American should, with non-essential surgery that isn’t covered by insurance and which keeps a slew of doctors in Rolexes and Porsches. I had LASIK surgery at what was essentially a LASIK factory in Florida. We were rolled in, prepped, zapped, […]
Charles Manson is All Grown Up and Getting Married
For my single guy friends out there who are hoping to find the woman of your dreams, someone who will look past all your faults, all the Tom Clancy novels, your inability to get why you should never tell a woman to “relax,” and all the ketchup, I have good news and bad news: Charles Manson is getting married. […]
Coloring Like a Boss
I just found out that adult coloring is a thing now. I haven’t been this excited since I learned we can still be in spelling bees and take tap. All this time, I thought my love of coloring was just me being childish. I don’t think I ever got over snapping Periwinkle in half while […]
Dexter’s Latest Victim
My obsessive-combustive personality disorder reared its ugly head this past week. I discovered, began to like, began to love, fell hard for, sold my soul for, then had to break up with the show Dexter, all in four short days. Much like that wacky serial killer himself, I have these uncontrollable phases that I go […]
It’s Now Arburn to me
I’ve really gone and done it now. I got a sunburn without leaving the house. You would think, at my age, I’d know all there is to know about skin protection, since I’m a fair-skinned, Irish redhead. I survived the pre-sunscreen 1960s, made it through the ’70s without sauteeing myself on a tinfoil mat with […]
Fun With Kids in the Grocery Store
When I was a stay-at-home mom, I had to do the grocery shopping with my kids.I’m not telling you this now so that you’ll feel retroactively sorry for me. But it is something that sticks with you. I didn’t have the luxury of getting a babysitter for weekly food shopping. If I could have afforded […]