I’m starting to worry about my ability to be a grandmother. And no, not because I’m immature and I drink too much. That’s minor compared to this sad fact: We have no toys in our house.
I’ve got some time, since I haven’t been able to force, bribe or shame any of my kids into having babies. I don’t know what their problem is. I set a beautiful example of parenting at its finest. They may remember it differently.
It’s been suggested that it would be wrong of me to expect them to disrupt their young, ambitious, goal-oriented, hipster lives just so that I can get a baby in my life. I mean it’s not like I sacrificed a ton of shit for them, right? It’s not like I quit my freaking career to spend the best years of my life wiping their leakiest orifices, signing permission slips, and teaching them to catch a ball and swallow pills. It’s not like I spent my entire 30s and 40s wearing the same pair of chunky heels because the family clothing budget was all being spent on their light-up sneakers and Disney tees.
“Cary and Jack are still in their 20s, and Mike’s not that far ahead of them,” my husband said. “Cut them some slack.”
“Hey, by the time Loretta Lynn was 20 she was a great-grandmother,” I snapped. “Or was that Tammy Wynette?” [Read more…] about Send in the Grandchildren, But First Where Are the Toys?