I saw a Facebook quiz the other day that almost made me set aside my draconian ban on Facebook quizzes. The questions were all about firsts. It made me think of newborn puppies and toddlers, shiny new shoes and hope. And I thought, how much trouble could I get in taking this? Here’s how much. […]
just humor me
It’s My President’s Portrait and I’ll Cry If I Want To
You know someone’s had a bad day when the white lady is crying alone in front of the Obama portrait on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. It wasn’t the first time I had gotten emotional about 44 and it certainly wasn’t the first time I had cried in a museum. The Pulitzer […]
I Want to Do All the Things
I’ve had a longtime fantasy that I am going to tell you about, even though it’s embarrassing. (No, not that fantasy.) Here goes: I am sent to some faraway exotic land — (No, not that one either) — where I’m in a very large community of English speaking families, but I’m the only one who […]
Send in the Grandchildren, But First Where Are the Toys?
I’m starting to worry about my ability to be a grandmother. And no, not because I’m immature and I drink too much. That’s minor compared to this sad fact: We have no toys in our house. I’ve got some time, since I haven’t been able to force, bribe or shame any of my kids into […]
Grocery Store Monopoly: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Jack Squat
Show of hands — Who’s playing grocery store Monopoly? OK, now keep your hand up if you’re also heading straight to Aisle 12 to smash your head against the freezer door until the Hot Pockets rain down like black hell. The headache you’ll have is what I feel like when I “shop, play, win, exclamation […]
No Sleeping on Vacation
According to travel websites, there are either eighteen or seven or ten or five types of travelers. With labels like “The Hunter Gatherer,” “The Collector,” “Free Spirit” and my favorite, “Chatty Cathy,” I read through every one of them and still couldn’t find me. None of them addressed the kind of traveler I am: “Giant […]